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Well, it's President's Day and I have a feeling it's going to be one of the biggest days of prostitution in the history of mankind. I have no concrete evidence to back me up on this claim, but I have a hunch that this will be the case and here's why ... President's Day is by far one of the crappiest holidays of all time and almost all Presidents are known for illegally screwing people for money. What better way to celebrate President's Day and get back at them then illegally screwing someone else for money? Just make sure you don't try and fight the pimps when they ask you for an extra $50. Those fights always end badly.
#10 Mira Sorvino (Mighty Aphrodite) - Not only was Mira a prostitute, but she was also a part-time porn star named "Judy Cum." Wait a second, aren't all porn stars part-time prostitutes?
#9 Elizabeth Shue (Leaving Las Vegas) - If I do finally decide to drink myself to death, I hope I do it with someone like Elizabeth Shue.
#8 Pamela Anderson (Snapdragon) - And to think that when Snapdragon first came out, most people thought that was the most nudity of Pam that we'd ever see.
#7 Patricia Arquette (True Romance) - I was watching an episode of Medium recently (it wasn't intentional) and it saddens me to report that Patricia has an extreme case "man hands." Fortunately, she has two large breasts two distract us from this horrifying truth.
#6 Rebecca DeMornay (Risky Business) - One day we'll live in a world where prostitutes are as hot as Rebecca. And one day we'll live in a world where it's legal to smoke weed with prostitutes as hot as Rebecca too.
#5 Kim Basinger (L.A. Confidential) - The most brilliant aspect of L.A. Confidential was that there was a prostitution service with hookers who were surgically altered to look like Hollywood celebrities. Why someone hasn't made this dream into a reality is beyond me.
#4 Charlize Theron (Monster) - Charlize, would you please do us all a favor and do another prostitution movie without being fat and having shaved eyebrows. Thank you, that is all.
#3 Jennifer Connelly (Requiem For A Dream) - One thing is for sure, Jennifer Connelly's breasts will be in the Smithsonian one day.
#2 Monica Bellucci (Malena) - Ever since The Matrix Reloaded, I haven't been able to get Monica's breasts out of my mind. The rest of the movie is a total blur, but that was some damn good cleavage.
#1 Olga Kurylenko (Hitman) - I lost absolutely all respect for Hitman and the movie when he turned down drunken sex with Olga. On a positive note, the movie did makw me want to exclusively date women with dragon tattoos on their face for the rest of my life.
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