Summer's here, the weather's heating up, and bikinis are popping up at beaches and pools nationwide. You're lying to yourself if you think you won't be staring. And getting caught. But if you didn't push forward anyway and go for the hook up, you'd have to turn in your Guy Card. With that in mind, here is your Field Guide to the North American Bikini. Read it. Learn it. So when she says, "What the hell are you looking at?" you can tell her you were just admiring her choice of bandeau top and low cut bottoms with keyhole tie sides. She still might think you're a jerk. But at least you're an educated jerk.

[Thanks to Ujena Swimwear for their expertise and photography.]

	The Classic Polka Dot Bikini - This is the one that made bikinis famous, and this year look for lots of dots. The top is classic triangle style. Note the tie side bottoms. They're adjustable, allowing her to get a perfect fit. (Or quick removal.) Look for girls wearing this one to be fun, easygoing, and down to earth. And approachable.
	The Banded Thong Bikini - A little sportier, this one has the same triangle top, but adds a fold-over banded thong bottom. (Thongs have just slightly more coverage than the sexier G-String, often called "butt floss".) A good mix of sporty and sexy, girls wearing one are more likely to grab one of your beers and toss the football around.
	The Halter Top - The halter provides a little more coverage. And support. Typically worn by those with a little more up top. The bottoms are "full scoop" - full coverage in the back, scooped in the front like her low-rider jeans. You might consider the wearer to be a bit more conservative. Don't be fooled.